1. I just made homemade cranberry sauce for supper. It was yummy, but more like soup.. but it was yummy, so that disqualifies the fact that it was soup. Sensory boy gobbled it up like he was a vacuum, Aspie girl whined that it was too much like jam. oh well, cause.. HELLO !! YUMMY!!
2. the garden is still not completely planted. We are getting there….if it was up to me, I’d just be planting seeds where ever….the companion planting is more time consuming in some ways….but I do love how the garden looks through the summer as it grows this way…..so….I just need to be patient and remember that. my ADHD ways and lack of patience for things going too slow sometimes make me cranky about things as slow as gardening…..I snapped at TMO this evening in the garden for his attention to detail and called it him being a perfectionist, because I tend to do things to a “good enough” state or not at all. I find the need for constant attention on things very hard to do. Still….back at it tomorrow…it’s getting there….I’m glad he’s able to come out and sit with me and help me plan and sort things and do some of the things I cannot do alone. It’s getting him outside more too….let’s hope this is the year I get my shit together and sort out things better so he can come outside and enjoy our yard more too.
3. I don’t mind the yard work as much as I used to. I’m in better shape now, and I feel less guilty about it and not doing an official exercise through the week since the heart rate monitor i have tells me 2 hours of gardening is probably more effective than going to a 10 k bike ride. it’s some heavy work, digging and pulling weeds, and bending and planting stuff. I am too tired to do both in a day, so I’m glad it seems like a good heart raising workout.
4. I’m cranky tonight….I can feel it creeping in, but it is one of those kinds of cranky that I can’t name why…anxiety…maybe…I dunno… because I have no idea when I’m going to have another period, I can’t blame it on fluctuating hormones because YAY the journey through to menopause is FUN and my ovaries are being old dusty bitches and taking their time pumping out the last of the eggs I have left. So it’s a toss up from month to month if I’m gonna bloodlet. ( oh there I go again talking about my vagina on the internet! GASP! what will the neighbours think!)
5. All that doesn’t really matter anyway cause as I’m going though this I feel like I’m in a constant state of PMS and I’m chronically lacking the patience I used to have for pretty much everything ( and especially myself). I’m trying to be more mindful and in the moment to offset this….but I find myself getting pissy with those around me when my being in the moment is jarred.I need a yurt and a mountain.
6. For the record PMS is NOT a time of the cycle a woman goes fucking crazy and is overcome by unjustifiable anger, it is just the time when her female “caregiver” tolerance hormones are at their lowest levels, and she cannot put up with the shit she usually otherwise just overlooks.
So, men… if you are arguing about the same shit every month when she is PMSing…you might do well to look seriously at what she is bitching about and consider it’s validity in her life and find ways to help deal with that complaint if you love her and care that she is upset, rather then just blame her for being on the rag and dismiss her feelings, cause it is not that she’s just being a bitch, it’s that she doesn’t have the capability of putting up with your shit this week like she usually does.
7. number 6 was in no way reference to me specifically and TMO right now. It passed by in reference 5 times this week on diferent social media outlets, so it is in my mind and that came to me as I was talking about menopause. Aside....I wonder..... HMM menopause is like permanent PMS I hear some people say… I bet there is a direct correlation to tolerance of BS and divorces when women hit menopause.
Also....TMO and I usually try to hash things out as they come up to keep communication open, avoid resentment and to avoid huge stressfull fights during my low caregiver hormones weeks ( not that we have not had our share in our almost 15 years together). I’m just feeling defeated by life right now…. our finances...his health and inability to do as much as he would like.. blah blah blah….like anyone here wants to hear me bitch about life.
hope you had a good weekend and monday won’t be too much a drag for you.