Hi fellow ADHD mom.
I wanted to share with you this blog post I wrote in 2012.
I wrote it in tears, frustrated with myself and my ADHD that day.
I wanted to highlight it here for you to read, so you know you are not alone.
So you'd know that I understand how crappy having ADHD as a mom can be.
What I have learned in the 10 years since I was diagnosed with my ADHD-just after my second child was born, is that while ADHD may be my kryptonite, I don't have to let it weaken me.
It's true, you can't cure it or fix it, but you can make ADHD less a negative part of your everyday life with new practiced and strengthened coping skills.
Understanding your ADHD is Putting on your Kryptonite Armour
I'm not like the "supermom" you see on social media with a perfect house on instagram. I'm not the well dressed, not late mom you see at every school function- looking like they've got it all together, and making motherhood look easy.
My ADHD is often super. I burn dinner, I struggle with house work, I forget stuff... a LOT.
But, I learned that being a SUPER mom with ADHD, means owning the fact that some days I'm super, and some days my ADHD is SUPER-and learning how to not let those bad days beat me, or keep me down.
You CAN start to FEEL like the good mom you are too... But first you have to understand your ADHD and how it impacts your life as a mom.
You can't outsmart your arch nemesis if you don't understand it's weaknesses.
Yes, you'll have bad days. BUT... you have good days too. MORE good days than bad days as you learn how to outsmart your ADHD.
The more you understand your ADHD, the easier it gets to minimize the negative hold it has on you and your day to day life, and the more good days you will have. I promise!
When you have more good days-It gets easier to let the negative moments go by without getting so down on yourself.
So...Don't give up!
and now...that blog post I told you about...
ADHD frickin' sucks
written on Jan 10th, 2012
You can plan and plan and plan, and be a good girl, and do all the sh*t…ALL THE SH*T you are supposed to do, and feel proud as all get out that you actually accomplished stuff, and you start thinking, "Hey…maybe if I am diligent enough, I can outsmart ADHD with good planning and a hint of OCD like checklists…….."
You wake up the next morning and see the clean kitchen as you walk into the room and that usual sinking feeling of needing to catch up is not there, and you feel a feeling of calm you are not used to- but could get used to. Your fridge has been mold free for 2 weeks! TWO WEEKS.... and it brightens your mood, and you think,"It’s ok, I got this… I SO TOTALLY GOT THIS. "
Even if it takes MORE effort, and MORE time than anyone else to pull this mom and wife act off…
THEN...You make your tea, in the things you set out the night before, to make it not take much thought to do…and you are chugging along, almost about to HUM a cheery tune, even thought you are not a morning person.
You're feeling GOOD!
You reach up and you open the bread machine you set so diligently last night to make toast for people for breakfast, and that’s when ADHD jumps out of said bread machine and smacks you right square in the middle of the forehead.
“HA HA! You ain’t smarter then me. I OWN YOU!” Your ADHD says as you instantly realize that very second, that forgot to hit the frickin' start button last night.
Because, staring back at you, (aside from the yeasty water volcano poking up out of the flour covering it- being very much NOT a loaf of bread) is a large amount of ADHD truth,that you don't in fact "got this", and the self loathing and "F*CK YOU!" from your inner ADHD self jumps out and back into your brain- wiping the smile off your face, and choking the hum you were about to sing, from your throat.
10, 20 even 30 times a day you are reminded you have ADHD for the things you struggle with more then other people do.
This is not just a one time thing. It's an every day, many times a day thing.
The lost keys, the lack of clean socks, no spoons, you forgot to buy milk AGAIN... the list goes on and on.
Like, the smelly SINGLE armpit when you are in the store shopping-reaching up for cereal off a shelf and you suddenly realize that when you were getting dressed that morning- the kid came to you to help him put his socks on, and you stopped in the middle of putting on your underarm deodorant and now you have ONE smelly sweaty stinky pit.
And-so all day- the wafting smell from your one BO pit reminds you CONSTANTLY that there is no cure for ADHD. And yeah- pills only help a little and on a limited time frame, and all the planning in the world cannot change that you are ADHD.
While you are standing in the store washroom washing your one armpit with wet paper towel and foam soap that smells like almonds, you know that ADHD very much DOES suck- No matter how many people tell you to embrace your ADHD and tell you being ADHD is a gift, or worse...tells you ADHD doesn't exist at all.
So,anyone who dares tell me ADHD doesn’t exist today- or tells me it is a gift- is gonna find their face buried in a pile of frickin' gooey yeast water and flour, until they inhale all the flour and choke on their frickin' words.
SOMETIMES- ADHD SUCKS!
and that is the truth!