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No Off Switch


my son is 6, he has Sensory Integration and Central Auditory Processing Disorder.

he’s hyper, hes active, he has no off button. I knew this when I as pregnant within. He never stopped moving.

He cannot walk anywhere, he has to run. He cannot sit still, ever.

He is clumsy and can fall off a chair just sitting there. he’ll be eating and sitting like “normal”  at the table and then BOOM hits the floor hard…the dis-regulation in his nervous system, requires he seek input constantly and he sings ALL THE TIME,  has to crash into things and people to stimulate his nervous system. he pounds the floor hard when he walks for input in his joints…..talks non stop, spins, jumps, etc etc etc. He tipped the kitchen chairs back on two legs constantly and fell  from them daily. so now he sits on a chair I brought in from the garden that is more like a stool he can’t tip back , because there is no back to push off of.

he wears me out. he sucks the energy out of me mentally and physically.

Even thought I know all of this and do things to compensate for it,give him extra leway because i know it is a thing and he is not doing it to annoy… he drives me bananas after 12 hours of him constantly yammering on and on and on and ON...and spinning, and jumping and talking too loud ( no volume control).

the only time the child is ever quiet is when he is asleep and with the nature of his neuodiversities and just simply getting older, he requires less and less sleep.

If he is awake and is silent, I assume he is hurt or sick…aside from getting lost in lego upstairs ( and even then I can still hear him talking to himself), or being wrapped up like buritto in a blanket to sooth himself while watching a movie he adores like Tron, Cars, anything with a dog in it), sick or hurt is the only time he’s quiet when he is awake.

he’s a total ball of energy, and makes me wanna pull out my hair and deafen myself most days.

And then.... when he is asleep…….i miss it.

#spd #capd #motherhood

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